What we’ve experienced, we expect. In fact, what we have experienced can shape our perceptions and expectations despite the reality of the situations we are in.

Our early experiences shape the ways that we feel about ourselves and relate to others. These experiences often result in the development of our strengths—and our symptoms (such as depression, anxiety, fear, self-defeating actions, relationship troubles). We create patterns and behaviours as a response to these experiences. Compromises, especially those made in early childhood to adapt to family, can lead to alienation from our real selves. Our full self-expression can become blocked. We find ways to protect ourselves, but sometimes at the expense of long-term well-being. Often, we are unaware of these past influences as they reside out of awareness.

There is convincing evidence that psychotherapy can make an important difference in overcoming defeating patterns, work issues, relationship issues, and in dealing with emotional distress in a healthy way. A good therapy relationship is vital to successful treatment. I create a safe place for exploring fears, worries, stressors, and help strengthen your responses to them through empathy and a non-judgmental attitude.

How I Work

There are two phases to the therapy process.

In the initial phase we will take a good look at where you came from—your life history, family background, and then what led to your reaching out for help at this time. Then you can fill me in on what you are looking for help with, your goals, and what symptoms (if any) you are experiencing. I’ll let you know what you can expect and how I might be able to be of benefit to you. We can then mutually agree on a plan from there.

While there is exploration into your history and what has led up to your current situation in the earlier phase, at this time we will look at what is pressing for you and what brings you to therapy, be it relationship, work, family, or other current issues. We will work together on whatever you prefer to address. This phase is less directive as it involves freely letting come whatever comes to your mind—your thoughts, feelings, and anything in your situation that may be pressing. This will take us wherever we need to be. The understanding of your life we created in the initial phase of therapy will clarify past contributors to your current situation and obstacles to achieving your goals.

About Me

I discovered psychology was my calling after working in the stock market and advertising. I have practiced full-time psychotherapy for over 25 years.

My career began when I completed a Masters in Adult Counselling, and then I pursued a Ph.D. in Child and Adolescent Psychology, focused on childhood and adolescent development and treatment.

Ongoing learning and improvement have been a feature of my life. As part of my education, I completed several internships, including at the Hincks Treatment Centre. I provided play therapy to children/teens and their families, both in school boards and in my private practice. It was truly gratifying to make a difference in their lives. This work helped me to understand the early development of symptoms and how to dismantle them, thereby helping them to hopefully progress along heathier development than might have been the case.

While I am no longer providing therapy to children, the work I do with adolescents and adults is very much based upon the experience of seeing how problematic behaviours and coping strategies can develop early and stay for many years, blocking development in healthier and happier ways. This work provided me an important understanding for how I can provide valuable help to adolescent and adult clients.

My master’s training focused on working with adults and university students (York Counselling Centre). I have done extensive work with couples. My master’s thesis examined the sometimes conflicting nature of intimacy and identity needs in adult relationships. During my doctoral studies my dissertation explored policing stressors and their impact on marriages, and the factors that made for marital satisfaction versus dissatisfaction. I have provided extensive therapy for police officers and their families for many years.

I will bring all of this experience into our work together. It is an honour to be a part of a person’s healing and growth.

The First Step

It is important to find a therapist that works well with you. I offer a no-charge 20-minute phone consultation. You can tell me what you’d like help with and what is going on, I can tell you more about my practice, and I can answer any questions you might have, including what you might expect in working with me.

Please email me at rom.malik@rogers.com so that we can find a convenient time to speak. You may also call me at 416-385-7777.

I can be reached by phone at 416-385-7777. You may have to leave a message. I will return your call within 48 hours. You may also email me at rom.malik@rogers.com

I offer a no-charge 20-minute phone consultation where you can let me know what you would like help with, what led to your decision to reach out for help now, and your goals. I can tell you about the service, what you can expect in working with me, and how I can help you. You can see the kind of rapport that is possible, and we can determine if we have a good fit and go from there.