How Therapists Help with Grief: Understanding Loss and When to Seek Support, Part 1
Loss is an inevitable part of life, but just because it is common does not mean it is easy. Grief can bring life to a standstill—and when that happens, therapy can offer meaningful support. Therapists help you navigate grief by providing a safe, non-judgmental space for feelings to be expressed, by encouraging effective coping mechanisms, and by providing guidance through complex emotional landscapes. Therapists use evidence-based therapeutic modalities to help people process loss and foster resilience. Personalized support and understanding can help you move towards healing while honouring your experience of bereavement.
Understanding Grief: What Is the Emotional Journey of Loss?
Grief is a multifaceted emotional response to loss that encompasses a wide range of feelings, including profound sadness, anger, guilt, and even despair. It is a deeply personal experience that varies depending on the nature of the loss, your family’s history, and cultural background. Recognizing grief as a non-linear journey that fluctuates in intensity and form over time is key to allowing and processing—rather than resisting and suppressing—the feelings that result from significant losses in our lives.
The emotional journey of grief can feature distinct phases, commonly referred to as Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s five stages:
- Denial: Difficulty accepting the reality of the loss.
- Anger: Feelings of frustration, resentment, or rage directed at oneself, others, or the situation.
- Bargaining: Attempts to negotiate or make deals to prevent or reverse the loss.
- Depression: Intense sadness, despair, and feelings of hopelessness.
- Acceptance: Coming to terms with the reality of the loss and finding a way to live with it.
David Kessler expanded on his belief of a sixth phase, meaning-making, which includes remembrance of those who have died with more love than pain, and learning to move forward in a way that honours those who have passed, as detailed in his book Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief.
Note: Not everyone experiences all stages, nor do they occur in a specific order. People may also revisit one or more stages on our journey to rebuilding.
Beyond emotional responses, grief can manifest as physical, cognitive, and behavioral changes, including:
- Fatigue
- Difficulty concentrating
- Changes in appetite
- Disrupted sleep patterns
These reactions are normal components of the grieving process but can be concerning if they do not eventually resolve.
What Are the Different Types of Grief?
Grief manifests in various forms depending on the nature of the loss and your individual circumstances. Therapists are trained to recognize and address different responses to loss:
- Acute Grief: The immediate, intense emotional pain and distress following a loss. This phase can be overwhelming and all-consuming, often impairing daily functioning, but typically subsides over time.
- Complicated Grief (Prolonged Grief Disorder): Occurs when the grieving process is prolonged and significantly impairs an individual’s ability to function. Symptoms persist for an extended period (typically over 6-12 months) and may include persistent longing, difficulty accepting the loss, and an inability to move forward. Professional help is particularly important when complicated grief is present.
- Anticipatory Grief: Grief experienced before an impending loss, such as in terminal illness (in oneself or others). This can allow for early emotional processing, which can ease the intensity of post-loss grief, but presents its own unique emotional challenges.
- Disenfranchised Grief: Grief that is not openly acknowledged, publicly mourned, or socially supported (e.g., loss of a pet, an ex-partner, or a stigmatized loss).
- Ambiguous Grief: Grief related to a loss without closure or clear understanding (e.g., a missing person, a loved one with dementia, an estranged parent).
When Should You Seek Professional Help for Grief? (Signs You May Need Support)
While grief is a natural process, professional help can support you in moving through the experience more fully. In fact. With therapeutic support bereaved individuals can even emerge with more strength and resilience than they had before their loss. Seeking help is particularly vital when it becomes overwhelming or impairs daily life.
Consider seeking the support of a psychotherapist if you experience:
- Impaired Daily Functioning: Difficulty maintaining relationships, performing at work or school, or managing basic self-care.
- Symptoms of Complicated Grief: Persistent numbness, detachment, intense longing, avoidance of reminders, or an inability to accept the loss for an extended period.
- Co-occurring Mental Health Symptoms: Persistent sadness, hopelessness, changes in appetite/sleep, difficulty concentrating, or feelings of worthlessness/guilt indicative of depression or anxiety alongside grief.
- Intense Guilt or Blame: Overwhelming feelings of guilt or self-blame related to the loss.
- Suicidal Thoughts: Any thoughts of self-harm or ending your life. Note: If you are considering harming yourself, seek immediate professional help and consult our Resources section.
- Substance Abuse: Increased use of alcohol or drugs to cope with pain.
Conclusion: Embracing Healing with Professional Grief Support
Navigating grief is profoundly challenging, but professional from a licenced psychotherapist can be invaluable. Therapists help with grief by providing a safe space for the expression and understanding of our complicated feelings. Tailored therapeutic techniques empower you to process loss, and acquire hope and resilience. We have the potential to embrace healing and eventually find a way forward, even after the most devastating losses. And you are not alone on this journey.
Next Steps
In Part 2, we explore how different therapeutic approaches can support healing and help you find the right path forward.
Curious about how different therapy approaches can support your grief journey? Read Part 2: [Finding the Right Therapy for Grief →]
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