Attachment-Based Therapy

What is Attachment-Based Therapy?

Attachment-based therapy is grounded in attachment theory, which holds that the quality of our earliest caregiving relationships shapes how we connect with others throughout our lives. These early experiences contribute to the development of an attachment style, which influences—first and foremost—how we respond to closeness, separation, reliance on self and others, and emotional needs.

What Happens in Attachment-Based Therapy?

Attachment-based therapy is woven into the technique of a well-trained psychodynamic psychotherapist who has expertise in the area of attachment and attachment styles and who can help you explore the relationship between your childhood experiences and your current struggles. 

Attachment-based therapy is also the foundation of highly regarded couples or marital therapy approaches: Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT) and Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy (PACT).

In attachment-based therapy—whether for individuals or couples—an understanding of your particular attachment style will be developed over time, including how it influences your relationship with yourself and others in the present. Becoming familiar with your attachment-related fears and coping strategies and where they came from is an important step in creating new relational experiences that feel safer and more secure.

What are Attachment Styles?

An attachment style is essentially an enduring pattern of relating to others. Your attachment style also informs how you engage with the broader world—shaping your relationship not only with other people, but also with work, responsibilities, achievement, change, self-care etc. Many of these patterns operate outside of conscious awareness, yet they can have a profound impact on how you experience yourself and navigate the world.

There are four main attachment styles:

• Secure: Involves a coherent, flexible attachment system in which the person generally expects others to be available and responsive, can tolerate closeness and separation, and is able to seek and receive comfort without becoming overwhelmed.
• Anxious (also Insecure-Ambivalent or Anxious-Preoccupied): Involves heightened activation of the attachment system, which typically looks like an intense fear of abandonment, ongoing preoccupation with relationships, discomfort with separation or autonomy, and a difficulty with self-soothing.
• Avoidant (also Insecure-Avoidant or Dismissive-Avoidant): Involves deactivation of the attachment system, which typically looks like a discomfort with closeness and dependence, a strong emphasis on self-sufficiency, and a tendency to downplay or suppress attachment needs.
• Disorganized (also Fearful-Avoidant): Involves the lack of a coherent attachment strategy, which typically looks like a contradictory approach-avoidance pattern, confusion around closeness, difficulty regulating emotion under stress, and simultaneous longing for and fear of connection.

We Are Here to Help. 

When you’re ready, we’re here to listen and support you. Our team of Toronto-based therapists offers attachment-based therapy both in person and virtually across Ontario, whether you’re navigating relationship challenges, seeking to understand longstanding emotional patterns, or looking for a deeper understanding of yourself, our therapists can help you explore whether attachment-based therapy is the right approach for your needs.

Find my therapist.

Connect with a therapist who offers attachment-based therapy here. 

Have a question first? Visit our FAQ page or contact us.

Attachment Questionnaire

If you are interested in learning more about attachment, the following questionnaire is commonly used in research and clinical contexts. This measure is a screening tool, not a diagnostic test, and it can be helpful starting point for reflection or for discussion with a therapist trained in attachment-based therapy.

Experiences in Close Relationships Scale (ECR) Questionnaire 
A publicly available online version of a widely used adult attachment questionnaire that focuses on attachment anxiety and avoidance.